I see him. I still see traces of that love for me. I see the pain he is going through. I see the way he still looks at me and watches me. I see that somewhere deep inside he’s still the Matt I love.
Than we speak. And all that goes out the window.
I see the way he reacts when I’m with my friends and he knows how I react. I see the face he tries to put on around me and I know he can see through me. And for a moment I see the way we use to be.
Than we say something to each other or something, and it’s right back to anger and not caring.
If he loves me he sure has a funny way of showing it. If he cares about me, he sure has a funny way of telling me. If he’s in pain, he sure has a funny way of letting it out.
Everyone else’s opinion of me is different than his. He has no right to judge me and tell me what’s wrong with me just like I don’t with him. Which I don’t. If he wants to be my friend all he has to do is lovingly help me with my problems and guide me the right direction. But he can’t do that without being cruel.
Best friends…Strangers
I’ve already been replaced. Everyone else is better than me. I try to tell myself he still cares. But my hope is slowly fading…
